It’s no mystery that newborns are HARD WORK. It’s easy to forget just how hard they are, but let me assure you, they are HARD. At least, our babies turn out that way. We decided that we have what you call “screamer babies.” In case this isn’t self-explanatory enough for you, this means our babies like to scream all. the. time. for no apparent reason. They also scream when they need something like milk, a diaper change or sleep, which is the more understandable part. Happy and awake are two words that RARELY go together. Add on to the general difficulty of caring for a newborn, painful nursing (at least I’m not bleeding every feeding anymore, right??), severe lack of sleep (I read somewhere that a typical mom is getting 3 1/2 hours of sleep a night at this point….. ) and a super sweet but high energy almost 2 year old and you’re starting to get the picture.
I realized a couple days ago that I was getting ridiculous. I was getting frustrated with Abby over silly things, losing my temper constantly and not being the mom and wife I should have been. While I was still feeling guilty and bummed out about my multiple failures, I had a moment to continue my Bible reading in Psalms. The first verse my eye fell upon was:
Psalm 105:4 “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.”
*sigh* Thank you for that, Lord. I obviously had resorted to relying on myself and was trying to do it all on my own. I’ve been repeating this verse to myself on a sometimes hourly basis lately. 🙂 As soon as I started asking the Lord for His strength, it was amazing how quickly I also realized I hadn’t been appreciating my girls and husband as I should. Yesterday, I decided I would choose thankfulness instead of despair. Thankfulness instead of complaining. Thankfulness instead of losing my temper. Thankfulness because I am so thankful for my sweet family and I want to love them in a way that shows that.
Yesterday was amazing! Even though things still didn’t go perfectly and in spite of being up a lot the previous night, I felt better and loved my family so much better. I doubt I will be the perfect mom from here on out, but today I am going to choose thankfulness again. I have a loving, smart, cute little girl. I have a precious, sweet, beautiful little baby. I have a wonderful, supportive, encouraging husband. And I have the Lord to lend me His strength when I feel weak.
I won’t tell you how many interruptions I had trying to get this written down, but at least it happened eventually! 🙂